The Election: A Good Result for Fascists, Opportunists and Animal Lovers

The Election: A Good Result for Fascists, Opportunists

                                                and Animal Lovers

                                                             FrankK

After 10 years of one of the most corrupt governments in Europe, many of us had hoped that the Cypriot electorate would have had the good sense to vote for someone untainted by Anastasiades. Instead, the electorate voted by a small majority for the ancien regime but with some variations consisting of the bad, the ugly and the downright vile.

Let us remind ourselves what the padrone of the ancien regime, Anastasiades, a pathological liar and a drunk, achieved during his presidency:

1.    A flawed passport scheme, which was supposed to help kickstart the economy after the financial crisis, but actually enriched himself, his close family and his developer friends. The scheme discredited the reputation of Cyprus, drove up rents and property prices in Limassol and turned the Limassol skyline into an eyesore;

2.    The collapse of the Co-op Bank and the use of the bank’s assets to shore up Hellenic Bank;

3.    The appointment of his friends and political supporters to key positions in independent institutions;

4.    The collapse of the Cyprus talks at Crans-Montana due to his duplicitous stance, and his attempt to blame others for the debacle. It is obvious that he never wanted a solution, at least not one involving a unitary state.

5.    The growth in support of the far-right ELAM, partly the result of his reliance on ELAM to pass legislation in parliament. And, of course, the crucial role ELAM played in the election of Anastasiades’ anointed successor, Christodoulides.

6.    A huge increase in the sale of his favourite morning teas, Famous Grouse and Johnnie Walker.

These are just some of his magnificent achievements. Space precludes me from listing all of them, although one can’t ignore his own assessment of himself as Cyprus’ biggest whore and pimp’. However, his legacy can be summarised by two important indices: Transparency International’s Corruption Perceptions Index and The Economist Intelligence Unit’s Democracy Index.

In 2013 the Corruption Perceptions Index ranked Cyprus 31^st out of 170 countries. By 2018  Cyprus had dropped to 37^th and by 2022 it had fallen to 51^st, a staggering fall of 14 places in the space of four years. In 2022 the Democracy Index, which ranks the level/type of democracy in 165 independent states and two territories, ranked Cyprus in 37^th place, a ranking which had been declining over six years. The island had the dubious distinction of being the only EU country in 2022 whose ranking had deteriorated. The report described Cyprus as a ‘flawed democracy’. All this thanks to the sterling work of Nicos Anastasiades. When they decide which of Cyprus’ landmarks to rename after him, as they surely will, they could do no better than choose the Limassol-Amathus Sewerage Plant.

As alluded to above, Anastasiades’ successor, Christodoulides, was elected with the help of ELAM, which successfully mobilised its supporters. But Christ (the Rejectionist, not the Redeemer) could not have succeeded with ELAM’s support alone. He also needed the backing of Cyprus’ three great self-serving opportunists (I can think of a more suitable name)- Papadopoulos, Garoyian and Sizopoulos. And so they pursuaded their base, or at least just enough, to make the numbers add up. But in case there was any doubt whatsoever, the Animal Party and the Hunters also pledged their allegiance. Thus, this motley crew, whose only common goal is to reject any solution of the Cyprus problem (short of the pre-1974 status quo) combined their forces to ensure that Christ the Rejectionist and his hangers on will rule us for the next 5 years.

I’m sure that all members of the Animal Party can now sleep soundly at night in the knowledge that Christ will protect their pussies. But as for their pet parrots, beware of the Hunters…..